Typical Abercrombie and Fitch ad. And no, those aren't my abs

There’s been a lot of controversy over Abercrombie and Fitch’s CEO Mike Jeffries‘ statements about his clothing line.  Jeffries publicly acknowledged what anyone with eyesight had already figured out, that Abercrombie and Fitch is designed for super-fit people.  You don’t run ad campaigns like theirs if you’re targeting everyman.  And you don’t limit your dress sizes to 10 and under if you’re going after every-woman.  But apparently Jeffries public statements like: ““We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends” and “A lot of people don’t belong, and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely” have pushed many people over the edge.  While Abercrombie and Fitch is certainly basking in a lot of publicity, most of it is harsh.  It’ll be interesting to see if their sales take a hit this quarter and also in the long term.  For every one Jeffries’ offended, he also may have reaffirmed to many of his customers why they love his clothes so much.

So today I saw a post on the Facebook DJ Group DJ Idea Sharing by a Texan DJ named Scott Shirley.  Apparently the original post was from a few years ago but somebody recently commented on it so it’s pushed the debate back out onto many of our timelines and so there’s been a recent flurry of new comments.  Scott has a sign that he uses at Bridal Shows and in his office that clearly states how he feels about “cheesy music.”

I have to say I have a similar reaction to both Mike Jeffries statement and Scott Shirley’s sign:

1- Kudos to you for bravely defining who your clientele is.

2-  Be Ready for the Fallout

Now certainly Scott’s sign is not as controversial, nor is his company big enough, to garner the national press that Mike Jeffries has produced.  So the comparison between the two are admittedly comical on that scale.  But I do see similarities in that both are an attempt to exclude some clientele while reassuring others.  Scott Shirley’s sign basically says “if you like The Chicken Dance or The Electric Slide or We Are Family move along.  I’m not the DJ for you.”  Fine.  That’s Scott’s opinion and he’s entitled to it (just as Mr. Jeffries is entitled to his.)  And being the ultimate capitalist that I am (and believing that in most cases, the market will decide) I say, don’t be offended, vote with your wallet.  If enough people stop buying Abercrombie and Fitch clothing they will either go out of business or drastically change their tune.  And seeing how Scott Shirley is still in business two and half years after showing the world his Cheese Sign, he clearly hasn’t hurt himself that much by defining his clientele.  In fact for every “Chicken Dance Lover” he’s turned off, he may have reaffirmed a different Bride who lays awake at night tossing and turning with visions of her guests dancing like chickens at her wedding.

Indeed some industry people who have seen my company perform at bridal shows (where we entertain and involve the guests with the YMCA, Electric Slide and a Conga Line) have asked me a similar question (albeit from the exact opposite perspective), “aren’t you afraid of turning off clients who don’t want participation songs like this?”  My answer is usually two-fold: First, yes that is a fear which we try to assuage during our sales rap at these shows (where we basically apologize for doing all those dances and let the brides and grooms-to-be know that the music at their weddings will be selected by them and they are welcome to give us as big a “don’t play list” as they want) .  And secondly, if given the choice between a bride who wants some involvement from us, or a bride that wants us to stay behind the DJ console all night and just play music, we’ll take the former.

Reading through this thread on Facebook, I see so many DJs trying to correct Scott Shirley.  Comments like (and I’m paraphrasing) “who are you to define cheese?” and “that sign is cheesier than The Chicken Dance” etc.  I have a different perspective: Good for you, Scott Shirley.  I think it’s important to know your target market and be brave enough to state it.  Maybe Mike Jeffries did offend a lot of people.  But maybe it’ll turn out that the vast majority of the people he offended wouldn’t (or in most cases couldn’t [because Abercrombie and Fitch doesn't carry their size]) shop in his stores anyway.  And maybe a bunch of brides have walked by Scott Shirley’s booth at a bridal show and thought, “well that’s not the guy for us” (although does a bride who likes cheese know it’s cheese?).  Just as, I’m sure, the Elite Entertainment showcase has turned plenty of brides off through the years.  Couples who are adamant that they don’t want the YMCA and then hear it at our shows may have already tuned us out by the time we get to the caveat in our sales rap.  But that’s ok, as I said about Scott Shirley, Elite’s still in business.

So whether you define your clientele with a sign, some public statements from the CEO or by handing out leis and leading a Conga Line at a bridal show, I say kudos to you for taking that step.  Just be prepared for whatever fallout comes next.

There are a few axioms that I try to live my life by and this is very close to one of them.  I often say (and I’m pretty sure this is a Mike Walter original): “There’s two things you can make in life, results or excuses.”  Both my saying and the meme make a similar point: that we control our own outcomes.

Now, obviously, this is a generality and it’s meant for things in life that are actually within our grasp and possibilities.  I offer this caveat because I know of a few people who are battling some serious health issues.  If one of them should lose their fight, I’d never think for one second that it’s because they didn’t want to live badly enough.  Some things, unfortunately, are out of our control.

But the obvious and extreme cases like this aside, what I like about these life philosophies is they make us take ownership of our own predicaments.  Initially, this can be a blow to your ego.  If you’re overweight (for example) and you’ve convinced yourself that you have a slow metabolism or you’re “big-boned” (whatever that means) then changing your philosophy and admitting you are overweight because you lack the willpower and determination to lose weight can be a bit of a shock to your psyche.  Same goes for the health of your business.  If you are barely making a living and/or you can’t seem to find any good people who want to work with you, you might comfort yourself with a potpourri of excuses (“the economy is bad” or “you can’t find loyal DJs anymore” or “everyone is undercutting me.”)  But if you stop that chatter and look yourself in the mirror and repeat that meme every morning: “If It Is Important To Me, I Will Find a Way.  If Not I’ll Find an Excuse” then you are going to discover pretty quickly whether you really want to be a success or not.

So think about the last time you made an excuse for something that you weren’t able to accomplish.  And now think about that meme.  If you substitute your excuse for “it wasn’t important enough to me” each and every time, you’ll start to take ownership for your lot in life.  When things aren’t great that can be a humbling experience.  But on the flip side, when things are rocking in your life, this philosophy can be empowering.  You’ll find yourself thinking things like: It was MY hard work that got built my company.  It was MY networking that brought sales up.  It was MY vision that created my company’s unique marketing plan. Etc etc etc.

Caution: This philosophy is not for the meek or mild and like I said initially it can be a shock to the system, especially if you are used to hiding behind a fortress of “yeah, but’s” (as in, “yeah, but my market is just too small for that…”)  But once you eliminate your excuses for not getting something done it leaves only two options:  Admit it’s not important enough to you.  Or, find a way.

So when I read this week that Nicki Minaj was late for a live show I had to look it up on YouTube. What I saw made me furious at two people. One, of course is Nicki Minaj. The second is whoever’s decision it was at Fox or American Idol who let her go on after the show had started.

Ms. Minaj is an artist. A singer/rapper who can get away with setting her own schedule most days. I mean if you’re going to see her perform in a club or a concert, you don’t really care if she hits the stage at 10 o’clock or 10:30 or whatever. And when it comes to recording, most artists are notoriously late starters who burn the midnight oil anyway.

But a live TV show is different. There’s a set start time and hundreds of crew who are ready to go not to mention viewers who are sitting down on their couches and expecting to see a show. It’s as important in our world as starting a Wedding or other special event on time.  So shame on Nicki Minaj for being late. Because even though she arrived seven minutes into the start of the show, she was really, probably, over an hour late. I’m sure the talent at these shows are expected to arrive early enough to get makeup done and be in place long before the cameras start rolling. So hitting traffic on the 405 (as Ryan Seacrest explained to the audience at the start of the show) is a pretty lame excuse.  As I said, shame on her.

And whoever’s decision it was to allow Ms. Minaj to take her judge’s seat after the show began is as culpable as she is. In my opinion, the precedent should have been set that as soon as the show began and she wasn’t in her seat, that seat should have remained empty the whole night. Allowing her to join the show after it started simply told her, the rest of the judges and heck, even the young talent that is competing that start time is a fluid thing. Come and go as you please — we’ll just have Mr Seacrest make an excuse for you and you can join the show whenever you get here. That’s exactly the opposite message that should have been sent.

In our industry, we should have a zero tolerance for lateness. The last two MCs I had to fire from Elite were let go for tardiness. Both were talented people but their Achilles Heal was they had no respect for a firm start time. I urge my staff to live by the credo: if you’re early, you’re on-time and if you’re on-time, you’re late. But these two never quite got that down. A seven o’clock start meant arrival at 6:30 was acceptable to them (as opposed to the hour to hour and half before start time that we all shoot for).  And cutting it that close, if they did “hit traffic on the 405″ it meant they might actually start playing music after the event had officially began.

So here is my open plea to anyone in our industry who struggles with arriving on-time: get out of our industry.  Understand that there is no room for your casual nature with other people’s schedules. If you can’t get this basic level of professionalism under control then look for another profession. Please. If you love music that much, start producing your own dance tracks. While you struggle to do so no one will care what time you get started. And if you produce a hit and can get booked at clubs to perform it, you’ll probably have a flexible enough start time that it won’t really matter when you show. But meantime you won’t be jeopardizing some poor bride’s Wedding, or some poor family’s Mitzvah, or any poor client’s event, by arriving whenever the hell you damn well please.

Our industry has enough hills to climb before we get to national respectability. Every time any of us displays a lack of professionalism we all take a hit. And in the world of entertainment, when there’s a firm start time, arriving late is the ultimate sign of unprofessionalism. Whether you’re Nicki Minaj or Mobile DJ entertaining at someone’s special event, shame on you if you can’t respect that.

Up until a few weeks ago I wasn’t scheduled to speak or appear at ARM DJs 6.o (which takes place June 17-19th in Greeneville, TN).  And even though the educational line-up looks amazing this year (including sales guru Jeffrey Gitomer) I didn’t think I was going to be able to attend.  I’ve got a lot on my plate already, including getting married later this month (and of course a honeymoon) as well as some already-planned speaking engagements later in the year.  But then a few weeks ago Randy Bartlett created a bit of a stir by posing a question on Facebook about tying workshops into DJ conventions (by the way, I provided the link to this discussion but before you click on it be warned, with over 1,000 responses you may get sucked into a vortex if you start reading it.  Make sure you have plenty of free-time!)  This discussion led to some action by some show producers, including Dr Drax adding a Randy Bartlett led workshop at the ADJA DJ Show in Las Vegas in September.  It also got Robbie Britton (producer of ARM DJs) to start thinking about how he could make it more worthwhile for Multi-Op owners to bring their staff to ARM DJs this year.  And that’s when he reached out to me.

Without sounding too cocky, I think one of the things I do best is work with talent.  It’s something I’ve got a knack for and it’s one of the reasons I’ve been so good through the years at training DJs.  I can watch and listen to an MC on the microphone and immediately give him or her a few solid pointers about how to improve.  I’m never overly critical, I always outweigh the bad with the good and I can help a mediocre MC become good.  And a good one to become great.  By the way, this is also the reason that when I produced my Training DVD I included footage of me working with talent — because I think almost everyone could do this if they just learned how.

So the workshop(s) I’ll be running at ARM DJS this year will be run like one of my training sessions.   I’ll have no more than 10 attendees in a room with a sound system.  Everyone, myself included, will have multiple opportunities to speak on the microphone.  We may do bridal party introductions, or make a slow song announcement, or lead a line dance.  After each person performs I will offer some feedback and suggestions.  The reason we are limiting attendance to 10 per hour is to insure that everyone will be able to perform and get some constructive criticism from me.  The reason I wrote  “workshop(s)” is that if we fill one, we are going to open another.  And maybe a third. Robbie implied the other day that we may have to open a fourth, which I’m okay with as long as I don’t miss Jeffrey Gitomer.

I believe this will be a great workshop for Multi-Ops to bring their DJs to.  I also think anyone who still performs regularly would benefit from it.  So even though Robbie’s original idea was that this would be for staff members, I see no reason why business owners wouldn’t avail themselves of this opportunity as well (accept for the fact that there will be other seminars going on during these workshops).  Robbie said he would create a way to sign-up for the workshop (which will be included in your  ARM DJs pass – this isn’t a workshop that will cost you more money to attend) so if you’re interested, get your pass now (for you and your staff) and let Mr. Britton know you want to attend the DJ Training Workshop with Mike Walter.  I hope we fill at least 2 workshops (although 4 might be pushing it

See y’all in Greeneville Tennessee!

When was the last time someone said to you: “So, how’s the DJ thing going?”

Or, “Still spinning records?”

Or worse, “Is that all you do?”

The answer to that last one is a very simple, “No.”

That’s not all we do.  Not by a long shot.  Most Mobile DJs do so much more than just “spin discs.” Indeed most of us never even touch a disc anymore.

So let’s look at some of the roles we fill at an event and let’s recognize the fact that if we are doing these things, we should be marketing these services and charging accordingly for them.  After all when you go to get your car washed they don’t detail it for you, change the oil and wiper blades and rotate the tires, and then only charge you five bucks for the car wash, do they?  No, a full service like that would market itself, and surely charge, accordingly.  And so should we.

COORDINATOR

We’ll start here because this is usually where the interplay with the client begins.  Most Mobile DJs, before they ever even load in a piece of equipment or play a single song, spend some time with their clients coordinating and planning the event.  For some, this is a phone call or a video chat using Bridelive.  For others, it’s a face-to-face meeting (or meetings.) Still others go so far as drawing up itineraries and meeting with the other professionals involved in the day (banquet manager, photographer etc).

Whatever your level of coordination, this is a service.  And more than likely your musical knowledge and experience will be tapped during these conversations.  A Bride may ask you: “I’d like to do a special dance with my Step-Dad.  Can you suggest something?”  Or a Bar Mitzvah family might say, “We’re having a sports theme so we need an appropriate introduction song.”  These questions make you not just a coordinator but something of a music advisor as well.  And hopefully you are experienced enough and have seen enough to offer insightful answers.  Sometimes the success of the event is determined right then and there in these consultations and if you master the art of coordination, you are almost guaranteed referrals from the client.  No one else at the event may realize all the time and effort that went into the pre-planning (in fact a well planned event should look effortless and spontaneous so no one should realize) but your client will always know.  And when you play that perfect song they’ll be reminded that it was you who helped them select it.

THERAPIST

Along with coordinating, we often find ourselves in the role of counseling.  Calming our clients down and being a voice of reason for them.  It’s natural.  Planning an event with the size and scope of a Wedding or Bar / Bat Mitzvah can be extremely stressful.  With weddings, your clients not only have the reception staring them in the face, but the major life change of actually getting married.  Bar and Bat Mitzvahs often carry a level of social pressure as families attempt to “outdo” other families in their temples.  And corporate parties are also a high stress event since everyone there is going to look at the person who put the event together as responsible for its success.  How often do you have clients say, “Just make me look good.”

The best way to be a therapist is to show your clients that they have nothing to worry about when it comes to the entertainment.  To reassure them that you are the true professional they thought you were when they hired you.  There are a few ways to do this:

First, be agreeable when you meet.  When a client asks me not to play “The Chicken Dance” I usually tell them, “No problem, that song is kind of cheesy isn’t it?”  But when a client asks me to play “The Chicken Dance”, I change my tune: “Oh that’ll be great fun I’m sure.”  The way I see it, if they have already made up their minds, why should I undermine their decision?

Another way to reassure your clients is to prove you are the expert by offering good, quality suggestions.  If a Bride-to-be asks you for suggestions for dancing with her Father and all you have to offer is “Daddy’s Little Girl” then you should do some homework.  The same goes for lighting.  If she asks questions about your up-lighting and all you can say is that it makes the room look colorful, you’re not being very thorough.

ROADIE

Ever notice that equipment is heavier on the load out? That after the gig is over your speakers weigh more and your top half is bulkier?  I look at my sound system sometimes after a party and wonder if it would be easier to just leave it there and buy a whole new one tomorrow before my next gig.  Such is the life of being an entertainer and a roadie.

There are DJs and companies that have roadies but the vast majority of the Mobile jocks I know load in their own gear.  Then we set it up and sound check it by ourselves too.  And yes, after dancing around for four hours, we all load the thing out instead of buying a new one tomorrow.  Some of us have an assistant to help lift the heavy stuff and hold the doors, but let’s face it, when it’s your gear, who else is going to carry it?
DISC JOCKEY

Yes, we do still spin discs.  And though they aren’t made of vinyl anymore, the mixing of music is one of the most important things we do.  Keeping the “sound track” of a party flowing smoothly and seamlessly is one of our most important tasks.

It is true that our level of artistry may vary from the most proficient mixers to the most basic segue-ers.  Nonetheless, the “disc jockey” role that we play at parties is essential.  And no successful Mobile jock can exist without at least a rudimentary idea of how to mix.

PROGRAMMER

Mixing is important.  Mixing the right music is just as important.  Pacing a party and peaking a party are talents that every successful Mobile jock possesses.  Also, working with a client’s request list and maximizing that list for the best results are abilities that we all are proud of.  Radio stations have full-time program directors that decide the same things we do.  Yet they do it in the quiet and solace of their offices after studying charts and ratings and with no immediate pressure on their decisions.  We do it on the fly, with a million other things going on and the pressure of a full dance floor weighing on our shoulders.

MC

When I train new DJs I tell them their voice is their number one tool.  Being a “Master of Ceremonies” means utilizing your voice to maximize every moment at the event.  We direct people.  We move people.  We motivate people.  And if we are good at what we do, our voice is never annoying.  It is always assuring and confident.

Peter Merry says that the MC at a party is a “spokesperson” for the families and the guest of honor.  That description puts the onus on the DJ to act according to the family’s wishes, which is why I love that point and teach it to my recruits.  Finding out what “style” of spokesperson your client wants is your first job (and should happen in the coordination phase).  Delivering that style at the event is an essential part of being the MC.

RING LEADER

When I was young I used to work at the local church doing maintenance work and odd jobs.  The head maintenance man there, a man named Brendan Holihan, was a real salt-of-the-earth kind of guy.  He taught me more about management than any book I’ve ever read and I find myself repeating him more often than I’m even aware. One of things Brendan used to say was that if you showed up somewhere with a clipboard you could steal just about anything.  He exaggerated of course but his point was the clipboard makes you an authority.  It makes people think, That’s the guy who knows what’s going on.

At parties, it’s not the clipboard as much as the microphone.  Once people see you with the microphone and hear you make announcements, they assume you know it all.  How many of us get asked to turn the Air Conditioner up.  Photographers ask us when Cake Cutting will be.  It’s all about the microphone which makes us the de facto authority.

Being the ring leader at a party is not a bad thing.  For me, I’ve always seen it as a way of expanding my “coordinator” role and making sure that nothing happens at an event without my knowledge.  And when banquet people and photographers in your market learn that you can deliver a smooth and efficient party, they’ll respect you and more importantly, many of them will refer you.  And so what if I have to point out to some people where the bathrooms are.

As the professionalism in our industry continues to rise, and as our rates climb accordingly, it is becoming more and more important that we understand our roles and market them correctly.  Throwing a great party is not your only job and surely if you have had success as a Mobile DJ it is not the only thing you do.

But before I do I openly admit I am more of a Lennon fan than a McCartney fan. Once they started writing songs mostly separately (rather than”eyeball to eyeball” like they did early on) it’s the John Lennon songs on Beatles albums that I gravitate to. I’ll take “Across the Universe” over “Let It Be” any day.  Or “Come Together” over “Yesterday.” Or “In My Life” over “Penny Lane.”

So, to Sir Paul’s uncoolness: I think the reason The Beatles are the greatest band ever IS the fact that they had this incredible ying and yang and push and pull. Lennon’s pessimistic edginess countered by McCartney’s saccharine pop sensibility. Lennon’s anger, like a tectonic plate grinding against McCartney’s happiness.  It’s this Constant Friction that made The Beatles so amazing (and then throw in George Harrison who probably could have led a band on his own and you’ve got a pretty scary combination of talent and artistry).

John Lennon couldn’t tie Paul McCartney’s shoes when it came to writing a pop melody or even a catchy hook. McCartney’s gifts in that department are right there with some of the best and most prolific writers this world has ever known. But c’mon, he isn’t cool. I mean, of course he is way cooler than any of us.  He is a rock star who’s has seen and done it all and traveled the world and played in front of millions . . . so he stands head and shoulders above any DJ in terms of coolness. But in terms of rock star legitimacy, he never was and still isn’t the coolest guy in the room (especially when it’s a room like last night with true Rock Gods in the building like Richards and Daltrey and Springsteen). I always felt Paul McCartney would have been happier writing show tunes or radio jingles.

I don’t mean this as an insult and again I think the true genius of The Beatles is that they had both influences – both sides of genius if you will.

Here are the two clearest examples I can give you: First, during the Sgt Peppers song “Getting Better” when McCartney is singing: “I’ve got to admit it’s getting better, a little better, all the time” and Lennon provides not only the the counter melody but the counter philosophy with his background “it can’t get no worse.” That, in my opinion, encapsulates the entire essence of these two men and their outlooks. Another example is the Christmas songs that each one penned separately.  McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmas Time” while catchy and happy is a transparent pop throwaway. Kinda like 99% of our Holiday songs. They make you smile and sing along but God forbid they make you think. Lennon’s, on the other hand, while lacking a catchy melody or any holiday escapism, grabs you around the throat and asks “what have YOU done?” Remember he wrote “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” in the middle of his bed-ins for peace with Yoko. The two of them were so active against the US government and the Vietnam war that the Nixon administration commissioned an investigation to get them thrown out of the country. Meanwhile McCartney was with The Wings singing “My love does it good.” I don’t know about you but it’s easy for me to see which one of these is cooler.

And the truth is, as much of an optimist as I try to be in life, when it comes to rock stars, their negativity and anger are what makes them cool. Who wants a rock star who leaves their hotel room in pristine condition? Or who shows up on time and smiles for every question in a press conference? No, that’s a pop star. We want and expect our rock stars to be damaged (remember John Lennon had an absentee father and his mother was hit by a car and killed when he was a teenager, in case you wonder where that anger came from). We also want our rock stars to test the limits of drugs and alcohol and excess, mainly so we don’t have to. We want our rock stars to have attitudes and to write about misery or even just apathy. We want them to remind us of our lost teenage years when everything in the world seemed wrong and we were alone on an island, just us and whatever music was blasting through our bedroom speakers, keeping us tethered to earth because finally someone, somewhere understood our angst and loneliness (or was that just me?) We want our rock stars dirty and smelly and unkempt. NONE of these things are right up Paul McCartney’s alley. He seemed much more comfortable in the early years of The Beatles when Brian Epstein was forcing them to wear matching suits and smile and be “witty” in their interviews. Once Epstein passed away and the group had matured and were taking on their own personalities, McCartney always seemed a little awkward in their hippy phase. Plus, he didn’t experiment with hallucinogens so while Lennon and Harrison were off tripping and writing songs about “newspaper taxis” or weeping guitars he was still writing his four or five catchy pop songs per album. Sure, the themes of those pop songs matured through the years, from holding hands to “black birds singing in the dead of night”, but they were still the catchier and more accessible songs on any Beatles offering. And to me, the songs that initially catch your ear when you first listen to an album are rarely the best songs. There’s a reason pop songs come and go so quickly. They are the chewing gum of music. Sweet and satisfying at first, but they quickly become overplayed. The better songs usually take a while to grow on you before you “get them.”  But when they hit, they usually knock your socks off.  I remember running one day listening to Abbey Road and “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” came on.  I had to stop running (literally) as the passion in this song finally hit me (after years of skipping over it because I couldn’t wait to get to that awesome side two of the album.)  “I Want You” isn’t a song that Top 40 stations would play and it’s certainly not something you’ll find yourself humming along to.  But if you’ve ever had an unrequited love you might understand why Lennon is screaming and changing tempos and repeating himself over and over and over.  “I Want You” stands in perfect contrast to McCartney’s “love song” from Abbey Road: “Oh! Darling.”  Both are bluesy and filled with angst and a long way from “Love Me Do”  but there’s something real about “I Want You” that I don’t hear in “Oh! Darling.”  It’s like McCartney read a book about pain and has written a song about it while Lennon just wants to open his shirt and show you the scars.

My last point about McCartney’s uncoolness (especially when compared to Lennon’s) is a point I wish I didn’t have to make. Or couldn’t make. Indeed these benefit concerts make me so sad sometimes because I have always believed (starting with Live Aid back in 1985) that had Lennon lived, eventually The Beatles would have reunited. If not for a world tour then certainly for events like this. They were too worldly and charitable not to put their differences aside for the greater good. But unfortunately Mark David Chapman saw to that (may he rot in hell).  And the sad truth is, if you’re a rock star and you want to lock in your coolness for all eternity, die young. We got to see just enough of the fat Elvis to offset all the years of his uber-coolness and forever change our perception of the first rock star. But for so many other rock stars, sad as it is, we will never have to bear witness to their 60 or even 70 year old selves up there on a stage trying to recreate some of that decades-old magic. Last night Paul McCartney was wearing mom jeans. We’ll never have to see John Lennon in mom jeans. We’ll always remember Jim Morrison in his leathers and Jimi Hendrix in his psychedelically patterned bell-bottoms . Kurt Cobain will always be cooler than Eddie Vedder.

But the simple truth is this: Paul McCartney, while wildly talented and incredibly prolific, never really was cool. And now he’s just an old crooner who doesn’t look or even sound the part. If that comes across as cruel I don’t mean it to. Believe me I’d trade for his life in a heartbeat (not that I want to be 70).  The man has written more unforgettable and catchy songs than anybody who was on that stage last night (Billy Joel might give him a run for his money, it would be close).  But cool? No Sir. Never was and he certainly hasn’t aged into it.

People love Halloween for the same reason they love DJs:  Escape.

Another Reason Men Love Halloween

I heard Bill Maher joke once that Halloween gives women a chance to get in touch with “their inner slut.” And while that’s clearly not universally true, you can certainly see his point at any costume store or Halloween party. Naughty Nurse and Sexy Cat are just two of the many costumes designed to let women get a little raunchy on this holiday. And they are obviously big sellers. (I also read an article this week entitled “Sex Halloween and The Almightly Dollar”  which bemoaned the fact that almost every costume available for women includes some kind of revealing take on a traditional costume — kinda confirming Mr. Maher’s joke)

And when you stop and think about it, that’s the attraction for most people on Halloween. The opportunity to be someone they aren’t. The chance to dress sexier than usual, or to be a zombie or a caveman or a football player. This allows that person to act a little freer, cut loose a little more than usual. It’s why Halloween parties are often raucous affairs, because people can hide behind their masks and be wilder than they usually are. I’ve DJed my share of costume parties to know.

What we do, each and every weekend is something quite similar. Your average guest at a private party, whether it’s a wedding or a mitzvah or whatever, probably doesn’t “go out dancing” all that often. That’s something reserved more for the young and it becomes rarer and rarer as most people age. You don’t see a lot of fifty-something’s going clubbing every Friday night.

So when they attend a party, and they get a little more dressed up than usual, some people look for that same “escape” that marks this holiday of Halloween. Maybe they have a few more cocktails then they normally would. Couples slow dance for the first time in a while. And then we take over, playing upbeat party music, hopefully from a variety of eras so that we reach everyone in the room. I see it when people dance and laugh and sing along. This isn’t normal behavior for most people. It’s “escape behavior” and we as the DJs are the conduit. We create that atmosphere that tells everyone, “It’s ok. You can cut loose. This is safe.” That’s why I never make fun of someone on the dance floor. Even if it would get a laugh from some people, I’d destroy that person’s escape. And that’s the opposite of what my job should be.

So next week, as you answer your door to trick-or-treaters, or maybe DJ a costume party yourself, pay close attention to that euphoria that comes from escaping. If you have kids, watch them become a Power Ranger or Princess and see how they too love the escape (even though kids don’t have to wait all year to do this, they can pretty much put on a costume and make-believe any day.)  And realize the next time you pack a dance floor you are providing the same escape that those costumes do. It’s one of the true joys of our careers. Embrace it!

Bet me.

That’s right, bet me.   Bet me that I can’t break my PR.

Pledge a certain amount of money for every second either under or over my PR that I finish.  If you bet (for example) $5.00 / second and I finish 3 seconds ahead of my PR then you’ll owe $15.  BUT if I finish 3 seconds behind my PR then I’ll owe $15.

Who’s gets this windfall?  A great charity which is near and dear to me called Autism Speaks.

I will not be collecting money personally for this so if I break my PR I will leave it up to you to make the contribution yourself (the honor system) I will let you know when the race is over if you owe money and if so how much (I’ll also humbly let you if I’m the one who owes money and how much)

BTW in case you are wondering my PR is 20:32 which I set in June of this year.  I recently attempted a 5K and came in at 20:42.  So there’s a good chance I could go broke throwing this challenge out there. Although if I hit my goal of $100 / second that might just be the incentive I need to run like the wind (assuming the wind blows at a 6:30 pace)

So go ahead.  Respond to this post with your monetary bet.  Bet me a dollar a second.  Or $5 a second.  Come on, there’s no way I break my PR by more than 5 seconds (or is there?) so why not do $10 / second?

Go ahead.  Bet me

My first thought was “Wow, where did this woman get that from?”  The seminar isn’t called “How to Be Happy” and besides, in my introduction I let people know that I don’t suppose to have all the answers and that these are things that work for me so maybe they’ll work for you.  I forget exactly what I said to her on the microphone but in essence I asked for her patience, that I would explain why I was mentioning the health and fitness stuff and tie it all in.  I guess I handled it well because after the seminar a few people complimented me.  One woman said, “when that bitch interrupted you I thought you showed a lot of class.”

So here’s the point I make in the seminar and also in the mini-book I’ve published by the same name (available now at the low, low price of $5 with free shipping and handling!!!):

It's a cute little mini-book!

Besides generally feeling better, focusing on your health and fitness is also a time management solution.  First of all, healthier people generally need less sleep.  Eight years ago when I was carrying about 40 extra pounds around with me, I needed a solid 8 hours of sleep every night.  Now, even though I do a fair amount of running which you would think would make me tired, I can get by on 6 to 7 hours with no problem.  So that’s an extra hour to two hours every day that I’ve put back into my schedule.  Plus, throughout the day, I have more energy.  I used to need a mid-afternoon nap or at the very least, jolt of caffeine to pep me up, but not anymore.  And finally, you can actually be productive while you work out.  I mean there are many times when I just listen to music on my morning run and zone out.  But when I need to, I can actually utilize that time to get stuff done.  For example, when I have a seminar to present, I will often use the week before to rehearse while I run (my dog Shea who is my running partner probably knows my seminars as well as I do).  Or if I have an article to write I will start my run with the seed of an idea and by the time I get back home I’ve got it mostly written in my head.  So that hour or so that you spend at the gym or cycling or running, can be productive.

So am I saying the only way to be happy is to be skinny?  Not at all.  I never suffered from depression when I was overweight, in fact anyone who knew me then would hopefully describe me as very happy.  (Plus I know plenty of skinny miserable people.)  But let’s all be honest with ourselves and admit that our own health is something we control (for the most part, I’m not ignorant to the fact that healthy people get sick).  And most people feel good about themselves and are proud of their own achievement when they either lose weight or keep themselves in good shape.  So why not spend a little extra time thinking about our overall health and also doing something about it?  That’s one of the messages I try to convey in my new seminar and book.  And it’s something I’ll stand by, even when I’m rudely interrupted.

It wasn’t until last year on this day that I found out I knew an early responder. Last year, (on the 10th anniversary of 9/11) I was invited to the Cowboys/Jets game by a fellow NJ DJ named John DePalma (who owns All Star Entertainment).  John already has a special place in my heart because he is one of the few DJs outside of Elite Entertainment who has ever covered an Elite gig. A number of years ago I found myself in a bind when one of my DJs decided 5 days before an event that he “wasn’t up to DJing” that event (yes, he’s a former Elite Entertainer now). It was a busy day and we were booked out so I found myself in the rare position of needing to go outside the company (or “sub-out”) to cover the event. John wound up being available and bailed me out.

John is an avid sports fan with season tickets to both his beloved Yankees and his beloved Jets. It was nice of him to invite me since he knows I’m a Cowboys fan, although as things turned out I’m sure he enjoyed himself that much more driving home from an opening day win with a long suffering Dallas fan sulking in the backseat.

But it was on the way up to Met Life Stadium that John and I got to talking about 9/11 (what else does one talk about on September 11th?) and I found out that he was an early responder. John is a County Officer (besides being a great DJ – what a combination of talents!) and on the morning of September 11th, 2001, when he first heard the news, instinct took over and he headed into New York to help. That was the amazing thing about that day, wasn’t it? People put their own well being and comfort aside and just wanted to help. And that’s exactly what John did. He got to the pile (what was left of the two Trade Centers after they collapsed) and, along with hundreds of other first responders, he began to dig. On the ride to the football game last year he shared with me that at first they were digging in hopes of finding survivors. But after awhile that hope diminished. Still they dug. Pulling steel and concrete away as if to show the world that America could not be reduced to a pile of rubble. We would clean it up and rebuild and that began in lower Manhattan by clearing the pile. And John was there to help.

I found out in that car ride that John attends the 9/11 memorial at Ground Zero every year on September 11th. He has to, he told me. And he will for as long as he’s alive. I don’t doubt him.

So today, no matter how you remember this day eleven years ago, join with me in recalling that post 9/11 spirit of unity that that tragic day brought out in all of us. Thank a first responder like John who let instinct take over when common sense would have told him to stay home. Think of those innocent souls lost to the violence of that day and maybe say a prayer that someday we will see an end to wars and destruction.